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Gandalf prepares to take on many foes - not least the script and editing - in The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies |
Director: Peter Jackson
Cast: Martin Freeman (Bilbo Baggins), Ian McKellen
(Gandalf), Richard Armitage (Thorin Oakenshield), Luke Evans (Bard), Evangeline
Lilly (Tauriel), Orlando Bloom (Galadriel), Aiden Turner (Kili), Lee Pace
(Thranduil), Ken Stott (Balin), Cate Blanchett (Galadriel), Ian Holm (Old
Bilbo), Graham McTavish (Dwalin), Christopher Lee (Saruman), Hugo Weaving
(Elrond)
I feel like I’m running out of things to say about this
desperately flawed trilogy – but here we go… Peter Jackson finally finishes his
great contractual obligation, serving up another film that expands out a slim
couple of chapters of a children’s book into something that strains so heavily
for the feel of something epic and world shattering, it feels like a
constipated man struggling on the loo.
We’ve finally made it to the Lonely Mountain. Smaug is
killed by Bard (Luke Evans) during his attack on Lake Town, while Thorin
(Richard Armitage) seizes control of the fortune under the mountain. However,
the mountain now becomes a struggle point between the dwarves and their allies:
Bard and his people and Thranduil (Lee Pace) and his elves, who are all looking
to gain control of its treasures. While Bilbo (Martin Freeman) attempts to make
an increasingly maddened Thorin see sense, Gandalf (Ian McKellen) brings
warning of an imminent attack by an army of Orcs – will this mutual enemy bring
our heroes together at last?
The Battle of the Five
Armies is the moment where you knew this sprawling, sausage-fest of a
trilogy had lost what soul it had. Almost the entire runtime is given over to
battle sequence, seems to go on forever and ever with no respite. We see a host
of clashes that carry none of the poetry of The
Lord of the Rings, and a host of characters we don’t really know fighting
with each other. Frankly, it’s hard to care. It looks great, but it’s just
empty spectacle, sound and fury signifying absolutely nothing at all. In fact,
it’s all so unclear that watching this movie for a third time I still have
absolutely no fucking idea what this battle is
even about! What are the Orcs doing? Why are they attacking?
As always character moments are constantly sacrificed. The
dwarf company are ruthlessly trimmed of screen time–even Ken Stott’s Balin doesn’t
get much of a look, bizarre as he’s been established previously as Thorin’s
confidant. Apparently James Nesbitt nearly wept when he saw this film – not
surprising since he must barely be on screen for more than five minutes.
Crucial moments that should make us care about these characters are constantly
lost: Thorin’s descent into madness occurs completely off camera, Gandalf’s
struggle to keep the peace gets glanced over, Bilbo nearly gets completely lost
in the shuffle from special effect to special effect.
Tragically, far too much screen time is given to two
characters Jackson has parachuted into the film. Weaselly Lake Town official
Alfrid is given seemingly endless scenes of “comic relief” – a shame since he’s
about as funny as being hit in the mouth by a hammer. I understand Jackson must
find this character funny, and that he felt some comic relief was needed
amongst all the fighting – but quite frankly he’s wrong. Alfrid is not funny –
I think you’d go a long way to find anyone who liked him – and secondly if they
needed comic relief characters, why not let one of the dwarves fill that
function rather than introducing a new character 2/3rds of the way into the
story?
The second character who gets far too much to do is our old
friend Legolas. The elf’s plot line is given never-ending minutes of screen
time, his struggles and conflicts given (it feels) even more screentime than
Bilbo’s. Do we really need to see Legolas searching for the orcs? Do we really
need to see him doing ridiculously impossible feats in the middle of combat?
Are we given any reason to care about him at all, other than the fact we
remember him from Lord of the Rings?
Legolas’ inclusion demonstrates almost everything wrong in
this series. Did Jackson include so much of him because he didn’t need to think
quite so much about what to do with the character, being already so familiar
with him? When Legolas (at best a secondary supporting character in the story)
has his battle with some random Orc, intercut (and even prioritised in the
edit) over Thorin’s climactic battle with Azog, the clash the entire trilogy
has been building towards, you know something is seriously wrong.
On top of which, Legolas’ inclusion undermines Jackson’s other
big invention, the Legolas-Tauriel-Kili love triangle. Really this should be a
Tauriel-has-to-marry-Legolas-but-wants-to-marry-Kili structure – that at least
would work, right? We’d understand her struggle and division – and it would add
a lot more weight to her feelings for Kili. Instead, Jackson is worried this
might make Legolas look unsympathetic – so instead Tauriel is sorta in love
with both with them, a confused, messy structure that makes no real sense. To
add insult to injury, when Tauriel and Kili are threatened by random nasty Orc,
who saves the day? Legolas. Who fights Tauriel’s battles for her? Legolas.
Jackson introduces a love triangle, and then undermines it because he doesn’t
want to criticise his beloved character. He introduces a female character, only
to reduce her to a victim obsessed with lurve.
It’s a disaster.
You feel Jackson threw in this plot because not a lot
actually happens in this movie. Doubly annoying then that so many plots we do
care about disappear so swiftly. The Arkenstone, the cause of so much struggle,
is completely forgotten half-way through. The fate of Bard and the Lake Town
survivors is glossed over. The dwarves get benched from the action for ages.
The plotline around the Necromancer is wrapped up with embarrassing and
confusing swiftness. Thorin’s plotline is rushed together at the edges, with
the focus constantly on getting more fighting in shot.
It’s a real shame that the actors don’t get the time they
deserve to really let their performances flourish. Armitage is, as always,
superb as a Thorin who loses himself in greed and desire for gold, and becomes
cruel and bitter before remembering his nobility. Martin Freeman is still great
as Bilbo, honest, normal and delightful despite being given little to do. Ian
McKellen still has all the Gandalf qualities of wisdom and grandfatherly
authority. Among the rest of the cast, Luke Evans continues to be a stand-out
as the noble Bard.
There are moments of action that really work. Smaug’s attack
on Lake Town is the film’s dramatic highlight – shame its over in 12 minutes.
But it’s brilliantly shot, has moments of heroics and looks great. Thorin and
Azog’s battle really works because Thorin is just about the only character in
the film we really care about. But much of the rest of the fighting is just
silly – gravity-defying bashing (Legolas and Saruman are particularly guilty of
this) or never-ending struggles in the battle itself – in which by the way,
only men seem to be allowed to be seen doing anything brave.
The Battle of the Five
Armies is in many ways a fitting conclusion to the series. Millions of
dollars are spent on making a brilliantly designed and shot series of images.
But no time is spent on making us care about anything. We invest almost nothing
emotionally in the story at all. While we might be a bit sad at seeing people
die, we know so little about many of them their deaths hardly stick with us.
Why did Jackson not see this? Yes Lord of
the Rings was a masterpiece and tough act to follow – but when you see the
love and care dripping from every frame of that 12 hour trilogy, and then you
move to this mess, you can’t help but think: where did it go wrong? It’s not a
complete disaster – the films are always watchable – but they could have been
so much more. Instead, they’re the bloated, incoherent footnotes to a great
trilogy.
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