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Colin Firth means business in super-violent Bond spoof Kingsman |
Director: Matthew Vaughan
Cast: Colin Firth (Harry Hart/Galahad), Samuel L. Jackson
(Richmond Valentine), Mark Strong (Merlin), Taron Egerton (Gary “Eggsy” Unwin),
Michael Caine (Chester King/Arthur), Sophie Cookson (Roxy Morton), Sofia
Boutella (Gazelle), Samantha Womack (Michelle Unwin), Geoff Bell (Dean), Edward
Holcroft (Charlie Heskith), Mark Hamill (James Arnold), Jack Davenport
(Lancelot)
Okay Kingsmen. I’ll
hit a beat later on which explores a major problem I had with this movie, but
let’s talk about the rest of the film first shall we?

Kingsmen basically
has a teenage sensibility, with a “too cool for school” love for swearing and
extreme (if comic book) violence. It deliberately sets itself out as a grimy,
modernish, street version of Roger Moore’s Bond movies (at one point, Hart and
Valentine even discuss “old spy films” – presumably copyright prevented a
namecheck for Britain’s finest). The plot (and the cascade of exploding heads,
satellites, sinister cross world signals, world leaders in danger etc.) all
have the air of the sort of stupidity you found in Moonraker or The Spy Who
Loved Me: the joke being that these fantastical elements have been mixed in
with a sweary working-class hero and graphic violence. It has a pop-culture
knowingness about it which it just (by the skin of its teeth) manages to
prevent becoming too smug or self-satisfied.
This is partly because it is so well made. The violence and
fighting are rather well done in their overblown, excessive excitement. Vaughan
shoots it with a loving camera, revelling in the dynamism and speed of his
agents (and their ruthless efficiency) in a way that’s very hard not to find
entertaining. Some interesting music choices also add an ironic commentary to
the killing. Vaughan’s also to be commended for spotting the potential for
ass-kicking super-spy in Colin Firth (even if Firth himself probably plays the
whole film marginally too seriously). The film's main set piece a jaw-droppingly violent but slickly made fight sequence in a church is probably the only thing it will be remembered for in ten years time - but is certainly worth remembering.
The fighting is fun to watch – it’s a shame it’s not married with a wittier
script, as if the wit of the visuals couldn’t be carried across to the dialogue
in case we got bored.
Vaughan’s script also wants to fight the corner of the
working class – although saying that, since every other working class character
in the film except for Eggsy and his Mum are criminals, wannabe gangsters or
thugs, it could just as well be fighting the corner of the “deserving poor”.
Some rather obvious notes are hit during Eggsy’s training as he clashes with
the chinless wonders that populate the Kingsmen candidates. It would perhaps
work better if Eggsy himself was a more engaging and sympathetic lead – but as
it is, the parts of the film without Firth (and Strong as a Scottish, grumpy Q)
do drag a bit, which is unfortunate when your film is already over two hours
long. It’s hardly Saturday Night, Sunday
Morning but it pushes through its Pygmalion
plot line reasonably well.
For the most part, Kingsmen
is stupid, teenage fun. It takes place in a spoof James Bond world of huge
bases in mountains and plans to destroy the world that can only be foiled by
dynamic acrobatic fighting. If you were a male teenager watching this it would
probably be your favourite film ever. It’s probably a little too knowing and
isn’t really as charming as it really needs to be to work really well, but it’s
entertaining enough. I was happy to leave it like that. And then this happens
quite late on in the film:
Now it’s important to remember when watching this, that the
video contains all the interactions in the movie between these two characters.
Now I suppose you could just say it’s a smutty joke that, like the rest of the
movie, takes the elements of a Bond movie (“Keeping the British end up sir!”)
and amps them up to 11. But it’s cruder and (in my opinion) too clumsy and sexist
for that. Not only that, but it’s the sort of exploitative, sexualised rubbish
that makes you suddenly address the entire film’s attitude towards women.
The film has five female speaking roles (at a push). Each of
these roles fills a specific stereotyped, trope-based function. One is a victim
in an abusive relationship (the mother). Another is a standard “hot action
chick” (the villain’s henchperson). Another exists solely to die early on. The
character in the clip only exists to provide the hero with anal sex as a
reward. None of these characters serve any purpose in themselves, other than
how they relate to the male characters of the movie. All of them to varying
degrees require protection from a man, or exist purely to service his needs.
The cliché of a physically-strong-but-still-really-hot woman being created in
place of an actual character is so tired, I’ll just leave it here as I can’t be
bothered to type up why this isn’t a good balance.
That leaves Roxy, Eggsy’s fellow candidate. On paper, Roxy
is a strong female role – only of course she isn’t. There is the standard hand
wave that she is “the best in the class” during training – but she’s also
established as the only candidate to have a genuine fear (of heights) that she has
to be coaxed through by the hero. Her role in the conclusion is conquering this
phobia again. The subtle implication is that Eggsy to some degree sacrifices
coming top of the class himself to support Roxy.
I’m sure this is all po-faced political correctness and I’m
being the sort of humourless prig sitting among the “20% of offended people”
Matthew Vaughn said should basically get a sense of humour. But I mean, come
on. The last shot of the film is a woman’s naked bottom rearing towards the
camera. And yes I know, I know, I know it’s all riffing on Bond films but at
least there the heroine was a presence throughout the film. I actually would
have much less of a problem if these two characters had spent at least some
time throughout the film together – but jumping straight to anal sex? It’s too
much. It also seems to be fighting battles of the 1960s. Overt class
consciousness from the rich is terrible – but women? Nope they’re just there
for the sexier times.
Leaving everything else aside, it’s not that funny a joke.
It’s such a terrible joke it leaves a bad taste in the mouth. So what’s
otherwise a decent, fun film chooses to end with its lead character invited to
perform anal sex by a complete stranger. And how a film ends tells us something
about the film we’ve just watched – and for Kingsmen
it’s not good.
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