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Roger Moore is James Bond...IN SPACE!!!! |
Director: Lewis Gilbert
Cast: Roger Moore (James Bond), Lois Chiles (Holly
Goodhead), Michael Lonsdale (Hugo Drax), Richard Kiel (Jaws), Corinne Clery
(Corinne Dufour), Bernard Lee (M), Geoffrey Keen (Defence Minister), Desmond
Llewelyn (Q), Lois Maxwell (Miss Moneypenny), Emily Bolton (Manuela)
After The Spy Who
Loved Me, the Bond producers had finally found a format that suited Roger
Moore’s take on the role: a comedic,
tongue-in-cheek style, with Moore leaning on the fourth wall, winking at the
audience. In fact, SWLM made so much
money that this one feels almost like a remake rather than a new film – it’s
got the same basic concept, the final sequence is pretty similar, the opening
sequence again revolves around a daring parachute stunt, even Jaws pops up
again. For a film that heads into truly unchartered physical territory for Bond
(space!), it’s as familiar and derivative as Bond gets.
Bond (Roger Moore) investigates Hugo Drax (Michael Lonsdale),
a shady businessman whose operations are expanding into space. After a string
of exotic locales (a chateau in France! Venice! Mexico City! Brazil!) an evil
scheme to destroy the world from space clicks into place. Bond has to take to
the stars to take down Drax. Despite the criticism that will follow, this is probably near the end of Moore's high point in the role - and in none of his future films was he quite as debonair and dashing as he is here.
If you ever needed evidence that the James Bond franchise looked
at whatever was popular in the cinema at that moment in time and then ripped it
off as quickly as possible in their next film, then it’s Moonraker. Surely never in anyone’s lifetime would they expect to
see a film that could be tagged “James Bond…in SPACE!” but after the success of
Star Wars that is exactly what they
were served up. The idea is so completely silly that people wonder if you’ve
made it up.
But, sigh, that’s what we get here. And it is beyond silly.
The film climaxes in a space battle between the NASA Marines (don’t ask) armed
with laser cannons (yes you read that right), duking it out with Drax’s own
personal guard also armed with cannons (it really is as silly as it sounds).
All this against a backdrop of Drax’s own personal Death Star. Afterwards, Bond
has to shoot down three deadly missiles that will wipe out the population of
the Earth. Naturally, his targeting computer doesn’t work for the final one, so
Bond has to basically “use the force” to target and shoot it down. Star Wars in all but name right? Had the
producers no shame?
It doesn’t help that Moonraker
amps up the already jokey tone of SWLM
to an overbearing degree. At least it was a formula that works with Moore, but
so little is treated seriously that when they do something violent it sticks
out tonally like a sore thumb. This is probably the only film I can think of in
which a woman is ripped apart (off screen) by a horde of hounds, followed shortly
afterwards by a pigeon performing a comic double take after an amphibious gondola
sails through the middle of St Mark’s Square (don’t even ask). It’s a film that
has no discipline, no control and no real consistency. It dances all over the
place with no logic at all. It gets the balance wrong and instead of being
tongue-in-cheek often comes across as overblown, heavy-handed and ludicrous.
In fact the plot, such as it is, is hard to follow because
it’s almost an afterthought. It’s effectively a reheat of SWLM (repopulate the planet with a chosen elite), while the space
battles are similar to the slow motion fights of Thunderball. Bond moves from location to location with only the
barest logical links. Drax identifies Bond as a threat early on – but then
continues to pull out a series of bizarre and unreliable schemes to eliminate
him. The action sequences feel like versions of previous films in the series –
and don’t get me started on the fact Bond still hasn’t learned that punching
Jaws in his metal mouth is a bad idea (he does it three or four times in this
movie). Everything moves forward with a restless momentum that never allows us to connect with anything that happens.
There is some decent potential here. The fight on the ski
lift is pretty good. Michael Lonsdale has a psychotic chill about him that, in
a better film, might have made him a memorable villain. In fact, Lonsdale is so
grounded as a villain he feels wrong for a film that’s so silly. And it’s all
the more surprising he has such an outlandish scheme – or that he hangs around
with such a pantomime villain as Jaws. Jaws clearly returns due to popularity –
and has been thoroughly neutered as a threat here. Even before he falls in love
with a girl with pigtails and switches sides, he’s already an almost comic
buffoon – even bashful about knocking off a Bond aide in front of witnesses.
It’s a film that can’t decide if it’s a thriller or a
comedy. It probably leans more towards comedy – which is a shame as it’s not
that funny. The hideously overplayed gondola sequence tells you everything you
need to know about the film’s lack of wit. Its comedy is as overplayed and
heavy-handed as some of the action can be – more likely to get you rolling your
eyes than holding your sides. Saying that, it does have possibly the best final
punchline of any of the films (“I think he’s attempting re-entry sir”) – the
sort of joke you probably didn’t get when you first watched the film aged about
10. Other than that it’s like a series of gags told by people who aren’t really
that funny.
Moonraker is the
sort of bizarre freak of nature that you almost can’t believe exists. Leaving
aside its amping up of the tongue-in-cheek formula into the realms of the
bizarre, it’s basically a bit too stupid and unbelievable for even this
franchise to pull off. Lasers? Space-stations? Space marines? Bond in space? I
mean really? As a rip off of Star Wars
it leaves a lot to be desired – and so long as these films take place in a
world that is even vaguely linked to our own, plots like this just have the
stench of bullshit.
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